Dusting “Dreams” Off for One Last Entry

Yep, that’s right! This is the last entry I’ll be posting in this blog.

*cries*

First, a link to the post I just wrote, for those of you who’ve been following since the beginning and have the password. It’s for my IF/RPL sisters’ eyes, only. 😛

My new blog, which I’ll link to at the end of this post, will hopefully have some activity on it by next week or the week after. Once I settle into my new routine, I hope to make it a part of my weekly to-do’s, if not more often than that. 🙂

I just wore myself out writing that protected post…so I don’t think this is going to be as long as I expected it to be. Just a quick update.

All I have left standing between me and the semester-that-never-ends is a copyediting final exam and a final book publishing project. The former is Monday, the latter Tuesday. Then I will be done! HALLELUJAH! (I mean, I’ll still have two semesters to complete at some point but…I’ll get there.)

Work has been crazy insanely busy, hence why I haven’t had any posts lately. Usually I use my lunchtimes at work to write (since there’s no such thing as downtime at home with HW and house things to do all the time), but I’ve barely been taking lunches. Usually I just eat while I work. And if I do take a lunch, it’s so I can do HW. Oi!

The house is slowwwwly coming together. I mean, it’s not together or even close to being together in the least, but we’ve made progress. Everything is out of the apartment and we hand over the keys to that in three weeks…never to set foot in it again (not that I have since we started staying at the house, but whatever). Once school is over, I’ll be able to help start organizing and sorting things. We are still kind of living out of boxes. Kind of a disaster!

And that’s…kind of it! Christmas is in two weeks! OMG! I’ve been listening to Traditional Christmas on Pandora since the week after Thanksgiving. 😉

Okay so…here’s the link to my new blog. Please be aware there will be no password-protecting on there. I’ll be posting photos and writing at will about anything and everything going on in my life, including the rest of this pregnancy and motherhood. I’ll also be posting about life in general as the end of this pregnancy and the beginning of motherhood is just one of the many things in my life that have drastically changed. My life’s been in transition for a while and 2015 is going to be the moment all of these smaller parts finally come together and start working in sync. It’s going to be crazy. I would love if all of you followed me but I know that’s not realistic. Please do it in your own time, if you even want to at all. Also, something else to note: I will be unlocking most of the protected entries from the past so that others who would like to can read about the journey I went through on here in its entirety (with the occasional post still protected as a special interaction between me and my IF/RPL sisters, to remain closed off from “the real world” of friends and family).

Do know I will continue to follow all of you. I know I haven’t been as active on here as far as commenting goes. But I’ve still been reading. So many of you have experienced loss recently and it breaks my heart. I wish I could do something for all of you to make your pain go away. 😦

Well that’s that. I officially declare this blog inactive. Thank you everyone who’s followed me on this journey. Words will never express how much your compassion, empathy, strength, and love did for me in the last year. I will be forever in debt of your kindness. ❤

Burning the Candle at Both Ends

Where I am: 23w5d
Medications: just the basics
Symptoms: sore stomach ligaments/muscles, iffy sleep, peeing a lot, crazy appetite yet only able to eat half what I used to, constipation/upset stomach, congestion, hip/back pain, and heartburn has made an appearance…
Movement: every day


I’m in class, and I’m so tired that the only way I’ll stay awake is if I pretend to pay attention and instead write a blog entry.

So, here I am.

Viability this week…I can’t believe it. Of course, the anxiety is creeping back as I get closer to this milestone. There have been SO MANY BABIES born lately: two bloggers on here, both moms to twins, had early births, and two twitterers had preemies as well due to either pre-eclampsia or high blood pressure. All four were C-sections, I believe.

Anyway, my point is, I’ve seen a lot of photos of babies not quite full-term. Some less than 35w. They are scary small. I can’t imagine how a baby survives at less than 30w, forget about at 24w.

*shudders*

So that’s why baby boy is going to stay nice and comfortable in there and just relax. Hang tight. We’ve got, at bare minimum, another 10w to go. My orders. Got it, little one?

Today I’ve had a headache (since yesterday, actually—which leads me to believe it is the weather, but…) and lightheadedness. A twitter pal suggested I go to the doc and get my BP checked…and I intended to go to a CVS or something and check it myself. But a debacle involving my debit card (read: pregnancy brain) made me late leaving work. And I was late to class as it is. So…yeah.

I think it’s sleep deprivation and/or dehydration. Hopefully after tonight I can get some rest.

Only four more weeks after this, of school. A lot to do in that short span of time…but I’ll get there. I will.

Not much else to report in pregnancy-land. I’ll monitor the headaches/dizziness and if it continues, I’ll go to the doc tomorrow or Wednesday. J and I talked today about how we have to start helping each other out by looking out for the other. Making sure neither of us is overdoing it. Because we both have. And then we are both worried about the other, and…it’s nonsense. So we had an intervention. Time to slow down. Take care of ourselves. Hopefully we stick to it.

I’ll be 24w on Thursday. Next big milestone, in my eyes is Christmas Day—the first day of my third trimester. Holy shitballs.

Just rested my arm on my belly and baby boy gave a BIG kick/punch. I think he wanted me to let you all know he’s good. He says hi. 🙂 ❤

Closing In On the End!

Five weeks. Five weeks left of school. I can do this.

As far as the house goes…well, well, well. We will officially be living there next weekend! This weekend we will go furniture shopping and start unpacking and sorting/putting away the boxes we’ve been bringing over there during the week and the last few weekends. Next week we will pack necessities that we’ve been putting off like dishes and laundry and all that. On Friday, we begin: we will be borrowing my parents’ blow-up mattress and bringing the kitties over. Not sure if I’ve mentioned this, but my kitty (the younger one) has been having separation anxiety and has been getting sick as a result of her anxiety and excitement almost every day. She follows me to the door when I leave, because I’m hardly home during the week and we’ve been spending weekends at the new house. It’s been hard on her. So, we will bring the cats over Friday late afternoon and help them get acclimated. We will stay overnight on the mattress, because I just don’t have the heart to leave them alone in a new place overnight. ❤

Saturday we will pick up a rented U-Haul and begin the Big Move! Our bed, the guest beds, the dining room table, the couches, the dressers and tables, everything. It’s all coming to the house. I’ll probably be there with my mom unpacking and keeping the cats out of harm’s way as my father, J, and whoever else with muscles we can scrap up do the heavy lifting. Sunday will be the extra day to move anything that wasn’t picked up Saturday and hopefully the end of moving all the big shit. From then on, the only reason we’ll be back at the apartment is to pick up what’s left of the small stuff and to get it ready for transfer. We hand in the keys officially on New Year’s Eve but I honestly think if we can get it cleaned and done before Christmas, I may just go to the landlady and be like, “Here. We’re not going to be staying there. You might as well get in there and start doing the shit you need to move someone else in.”

We do have to address the issue of another car. We haven’t bought a new one since the accident since a new car would’ve thrown our mortgage application/closing into serious jeopardy. There is NO WAY I can commute to and from work and get back in time for J to take it to work in the afternoon, every day, with one car. At the apartment, which is less than 10mins away from my work, it was possible. My commute is about to increase by about 30mins. Same with his. One car is not doable.

So we also have that. We have a down payment ready, we just need to go get approved for a new car loan and buy the car.

Phew.

I literally wrote this in like 5mins. I’m taking a short lunch at work today because I came in late and I want to get out as early as possible! I’ll check in as soon as I can…I’m hoping to get the new blog officially up and running by December, which is only a few short weeks away! Whoop!

Later, y’all. And by the way, fellow bloggers, I’ve been reading if not commenting. As usual. I promise. ❤

I’m Too Busy for Life (and Blogging)

Good news!

J and I are homeowners. 🙂

It was a battle to the end, but we made it. We’ve owned the house a full nine days now, and what a whirlwind of nine days. It’s been GO GO GO since we passed papers and were handed the keys. This weekend, actually, we painted the living room/upstairs hallway/entryway area (a lot of work). Well, when I say “we,” I mean J and my brother’s girlfriend and my dad. But it’s done! Gone is the old people-ish yellow, and here is the soft gray-blue that J and I chose Friday night. Whoop!

And…well, other than that, I don’t have much time for telling y’all about anything else. Truth is, I just got home half an hour ago and I am hungry and I have homework that needs doing because it’s due tomorrow or Tuesday night. In fact, I have a paper due a week from Tuesday that I haven’t even read the book for. And next weekend, the dining room/kitchen will be painted and we will do the first “big” move of some furniture. Yikes.

Sorry. Life is way too busy for me to blog. Life is actually too busy for me to, well, do anything. Constantly moving. I just keep telling myself, it’ll calm down when December gets here…

Kitties, Houses, and Homework! Oh My!

Second, an update on kitty! She is doing much, much better. When we brought her home she kept going to the litterbox and straining to poop or pee (not sure), and barely anything came out but blood. 😦 It was so sad. They gave us antibiotics, pain medicine, and anxiety medicine. The first two were liquid and came with syringes. The third was originally a topical for her ear but after some discussion with the vet, she took it back and gave us pills as the topical was too high-risk for me. I started off trying to give kitty the anxiety half-pill in a pill pocket…nope. Mushed between two regular treats…nope. Straight in her mouth…NOPE. Long story short, she hasn’t had a single pill.

The liquid was a lot easier. Every day, she got the antibiotics twice and the pain meds at least once (I tried to space them out to prevent stomach upset). The day after the vet visit, she was so lethargic and not herself that I actually cried because I was so worried for her. She couldn’t use the bathroom, she wouldn’t get up to greet us when we came in the room, she barely purred. It was heartbreaking.

The weekend, though, started the turnaround. She started peeing and pooping, a little. She perked up a bit when we came in the room. She started purring again. She started eating more (before, she was barely eating a 1/4 cup of her new “special” diet/kidney stone food a day). Earlier this week, she only got better and better. Her litterbox is now full. I have weaned her off the pain meds. Her antibiotics should end today. And she finally seems like herself again.

Giving her the medicine has been hard. I did it on my own the first two times, but once J was able to help, it got better. She still hated it. Still hates it. I wish there was a way for me to tell her this is going to help her.

We have to bring her back the vet sometime next week, which…I’m dreading. I’m afraid of 1) the visit bill (last week’s was $600), 2) finding out she needs surgery, and 3) the potential surgery bill (they said at least $1,600). With the closing looming over our heads, using a credit card is out of the question and we are really trying to save all the money we can as we approach that day and the final large deposit to complete the down payment. Yeesh.

Plus, I don’t want her to have surgery. Too sad, too scary. 😦

The vet did say her white blood cells were a bit high and her lymphocytes low (maybe the other way around, I forget), but that they thought it was from stress. They said very rarely that could be indicative of cancer. Ugh. But the rest of her bloodwork came back fine, so…fingers crossed.

Speaking of the vet and bills and money and the closing…TWO WEEKS FROM TODAY!! Holy shit. I realized how soon it was the other day and practically had a panic attack. I’m nervous we don’t have all the documents we need, I’m nervous something is going to go wrong…I have to transfer the money from my Fidelity account ASAP to our joint checking in preparation for the deposit remainder. Yikes. And then there’s the whole, “we’re going to own a house” thing and all that. Kind of a big deal.

School is an absolute nightmare. Don’t get me wrong: I love my school, I love my program, and I love what I’m learning. But with everything going on…I can barely concentrate. Mondays and Tuesdays are class nights, Wednesdays I am too exhausted to do any homework, and Thursdays…well, so far, I haven’t been able to motivate myself to do homework yet on Thursdays. So then I do some Friday, some Saturday, and then the entire day Sunday. I wear myself out before I head off to work Monday morning, and Monday is a long day. So is Tuesday. AHHHHH.

I have decided I am no longer resenting my decision to take next semester off. This is too hard. Too much stuff going on. I just need to get through these next few months. Roll on, December!

I’ll try to check in again next week. 🙂 ❤