So I’m pretty sure our mortgage was finally sent off for final approval this morning (there are so many levels of “approval,” I’m so bullshit…ugh). My stupid processor never ever ever calls or emails me back, and I waited for over a week to hear back about documents still outstanding! Hi, I’ve never fucking done this before. Want to help me out a smidge?!
And on top of that, the appraiser fucked up big time. I don’t even have the energy or anger-management control to talk about it at the moment. It’s all fine, it’ll all be fine, I think, it just required so many calls on my part trying to get SOMEONE at USAA to talk to me and tell me why they were requesting documentation our lawyer clearly said we didn’t need.
Closing is a week from today. I’m stressed the fuck out. It’s a three-day weekend and I don’t have class on Monday, and no big written assignments due Tuesday (thank god). I’ll be spending this weekend catching up on HW, packing for the move, and relaxing with my husband (maybe).
Sorry this entry sucks. I just have no time or energy. I can’t even… 😦
Second, an update on kitty! She is doing much, much better. When we brought her home she kept going to the litterbox and straining to poop or pee (not sure), and barely anything came out but blood. 😦 It was so sad. They gave us antibiotics, pain medicine, and anxiety medicine. The first two were liquid and came with syringes. The third was originally a topical for her ear but after some discussion with the vet, she took it back and gave us pills as the topical was too high-risk for me. I started off trying to give kitty the anxiety half-pill in a pill pocket…nope. Mushed between two regular treats…nope. Straight in her mouth…NOPE. Long story short, she hasn’t had a single pill.
The liquid was a lot easier. Every day, she got the antibiotics twice and the pain meds at least once (I tried to space them out to prevent stomach upset). The day after the vet visit, she was so lethargic and not herself that I actually cried because I was so worried for her. She couldn’t use the bathroom, she wouldn’t get up to greet us when we came in the room, she barely purred. It was heartbreaking.
The weekend, though, started the turnaround. She started peeing and pooping, a little. She perked up a bit when we came in the room. She started purring again. She started eating more (before, she was barely eating a 1/4 cup of her new “special” diet/kidney stone food a day). Earlier this week, she only got better and better. Her litterbox is now full. I have weaned her off the pain meds. Her antibiotics should end today. And she finally seems like herself again.
Giving her the medicine has been hard. I did it on my own the first two times, but once J was able to help, it got better. She still hated it. Still hates it. I wish there was a way for me to tell her this is going to help her.
We have to bring her back the vet sometime next week, which…I’m dreading. I’m afraid of 1) the visit bill (last week’s was $600), 2) finding out she needs surgery, and 3) the potential surgery bill (they said at least $1,600). With the closing looming over our heads, using a credit card is out of the question and we are really trying to save all the money we can as we approach that day and the final large deposit to complete the down payment. Yeesh.
Plus, I don’t want her to have surgery. Too sad, too scary. 😦
The vet did say her white blood cells were a bit high and her lymphocytes low (maybe the other way around, I forget), but that they thought it was from stress. They said very rarely that could be indicative of cancer. Ugh. But the rest of her bloodwork came back fine, so…fingers crossed.
Speaking of the vet and bills and money and the closing…TWO WEEKS FROM TODAY!! Holy shit. I realized how soon it was the other day and practically had a panic attack. I’m nervous we don’t have all the documents we need, I’m nervous something is going to go wrong…I have to transfer the money from my Fidelity account ASAP to our joint checking in preparation for the deposit remainder. Yikes. And then there’s the whole, “we’re going to own a house” thing and all that. Kind of a big deal.
School is an absolute nightmare. Don’t get me wrong: I love my school, I love my program, and I love what I’m learning. But with everything going on…I can barely concentrate. Mondays and Tuesdays are class nights, Wednesdays I am too exhausted to do any homework, and Thursdays…well, so far, I haven’t been able to motivate myself to do homework yet on Thursdays. So then I do some Friday, some Saturday, and then the entire day Sunday. I wear myself out before I head off to work Monday morning, and Monday is a long day. So is Tuesday. AHHHHH.
I have decided I am no longer resenting my decision to take next semester off. This is too hard. Too much stuff going on. I just need to get through these next few months. Roll on, December!
I’ll try to check in again next week. 🙂 ❤
I’m going to break this all down for you as best I can. Who knows how many sittings this will take me to type up, because I’m exhausted and there’s so much going on!
All About the House
Okay…I really want to sit down and tell you guys everything blow-by-blow, but I feel like I’m never going to have the time. So here’s how it went down, in a nutshell:
- we offered what we thought was our max offering price—found out the next day it was rejected
- husband owner wanted us to come up only $5k shy of their asking price
- I spend hours on the phone with my realtor and USAA and got our pre-qualification brought up to cover the extra (if we spent ALL our savings on the down payment)
- however, upon calling J, he reminded me that we still have a car and have “other” things going on that will require money—I email the realtor that we are walking away
- our realtor calls the owners to explain that we can’t go that high and that we’re walking away, husband owner keeps her on the phone for a while, debating, debating…
- realtor comes back to us saying he’ll come down another $6k, which means the ask is only $8k above what we originally offered
- I call J, he says it sounds good, I call my parents, they say it sounds good (my dad points out we’ll be house poor, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing, just to be aware of it), I call the realtor back to move forward with the offer
- we draft a new offer, sign and hand over an initial deposit, and on my birthday less than 48 hours later, we receive the signed accepted offer!
- the owners replace the roof the next day, we schedule the inspection for the following week
- we receive a packet from USAA with lots of documents in the mail that Saturday, and I spend the next 5-6 days scouring the apartment for documents, requesting them from institutions, signing and sending back the paperwork in the packet, and scanning documents onto the portal online
- the inspection goes well, the lawyers draft and debate a Purchase and Sales Agreement, which we sign and hand over along with a second (much larger!) deposit a week and a half after receiving the initial signed offer
- with the P&S signed, USAA is cleared to move forward with the appraisal (which was done yesterday)
That’s where we stand now. It’s been a whirlwind…I can’t believe it’s only been about two weeks since we were all able to come to an agreement. And we still have a little over a month to go until closing on October 17th! Sheesh!
The New Job
My first week has been insane! I stepped in right at the tail end of a cycle of documents. Everyone is running around like chickens with their heads cut off and I’m just stepping in whenever I can to help. It’s been crazy. But I am so so glad to be in the publishing world, doing what I do best. It feels good.
The travel situation is something to be desired. I haven’t handed in my “I’m medically allowed to drive” paperwork to the DMV yet so my husband has been driving me. And even when I can drive myself, I still have to wake up at 5:50 in order to be at work from 7:00-3:00 to work my full salaried hours and have the car home in time for J to make it to work in Boston by 4:00. Blech.
A New School Year?!
I start school on Monday! Shit!
I am nervous. I haven’t been sleeping well, and with everything going on, I’m trying to imagine how crazy things will get once I add hours and hours of schoolwork to the mix. Some moments I feel like I may be in a little over my head…but I think I can do it. I can. I’m the queen of multitasking. Heh.
More Healing and Progress
I saw my orthopedist this week and got the best news: no more appointments, no more crutches, no more x-rays, no physical therapy needed! I had one last x-ray at my appointment and the base of the fracture is nearly indiscernible, with the part leading out to the edge of the bone still evident but much more faint than the last x-ray. All evidence of good healing. I’ll continue to do as much walking as I can, take it easy on stairs for the next month, continue taking my Vitamin D/Calcium supplements, and over all be gentle with it for the next 4-6 months as the bones continue and finish healing. I am to send him an email or call him in the next month to let him know how I’m doing. Emails and phone calls are all that will be necessary from here on out barring any complications that I report!
It only took all summer, right? 😛
And Everything Else…
I’m sorry I haven’t been commenting on your blogs as of late. Honestly, I go days without reading now (which, to be honest, is crazy—I used to read every day, and even get upset when there were no new posts to occupy me in my boredom! HAH!) and I catch up every couple of days. I try to comment when I can. Know that I’m still following all of your stories.
So many of you have had BFPs recently and I am thinking good positive sticky thoughts for all of you! Still others have suffered miscarriages in some form or another, and I’m thinking of you and hurting for you. Sending you all my love. For those in the 2ww, I’m pulling for you! For those of you starting new cycles, and there are quite a few…good luck! I love you all.
I’m too busy to write a real entry, seriously. I’m desperately trying to get together paperwork and scanning it into USAA so they can continue processing our loan application. I want to get as much done as early as possible, as the inspection is first thing tomorrow morning at 8:30. It’s about a 20min drive, so we’ll be up before 6:30, if not earlier. Oi!
So yes. I’m a bit stressed. And I have zero time for blogging.
I’ll be back later! Maybe later this week, maybe not.
Where I am: 10w7d
Symptoms: tired, sore boobs, nausea, slow digestion, food/smell hypersensitivity and aversions, congestion, constipation, occasional dizziness, dull cramps and sharp twangs
This morning, as of 4:12AM, I turned 27…and I feel old.
Yeah, yeah, yeah…I know, 27 is young. And when I move on to tell you that I intended to be a mother before I turned 27, many of you (older than me) may tell me that I’m still young. I still have time. And that may be true. And I may not understand what it’s like to be 30, 35, 37, and still not have any living babies.
But I had a plan. When I was growing up, it was to have my first baby at 21 (like my mother). When I grew up and realized I might want to have a career, the age changed to 23-25. When my husband and I got engaged, it changed to 25ish (after our marriage). In May 2012, at age 24, I got married. I turned 25 that year. The following January, we started TTC.
I thought I’d have a baby before 26. Then, before 27.
Well, 27 is here. I’m still not a mother…not in the way I intended. And yeah, I may be pregnant now, but I”m 5 days shy of my NT scan. And still a few weeks shy of the second trimester. I’m hardly home free, yet.
There’s just something about RPL/IF that changes the way you see birthdays. Instead of celebrating, it’s “Oh great. Another failed year. Still not a mom.” It just sucks.
And don’t get me wrong…I’m not lamenting this day. I baked myself a cake yesterday (hubby doesn’t come home until tonight) and my coworkers have made me feel quite good about myself. I have a Thai lunch date with my mom and my “work mom” this afternoon, so that’ll be nice. And who knows what surprises my husband will have when he gets home. Hopefully nothing extravagant (honestly) since we are in a money crunch right now.
I’m honestly having a good day. I’m just anxious. About a lot of things. I hope I get to celebrate my next birthday with a cute little bouncing 5-month-old.
In other news…like I said, 5 days and counting until the NT scan. I’ve been having dull cramps and short sharp (not too painful) pains now and again. My boobs still hurt. I still have nausea. I’m still constipated. I’m still tired all the time, and sleeping horribly, and waking up at least once in the night to pee. So as far as feeling pregnant goes, I feel pregnant. The pains down there just worry me. But I know growing pains are normal. My uterus is (should be) growing along with baby…and at the 11th week, it starts popping out of the pelvis, right? I don’t know when round ligament pain happens. But maybe it could be that.
All I know is I feel more pregnant at roughly 11w than I did with my last pregnancy. Could be because I am following it more closely…but I don’t think it is all in my head. At the very least, my body is still acting like it’s pregnant. I hope Lucky Bug is growing and thriving in there.
I really was going to write more today, but I’m too upset to do so.
We put an offer on a house this weekend that we love. More than the other house.
It was $20k above our maximum offer price. We offered. It’s too low. They won’t budge. We can’t budge.
So we’re shit outta luck, once again. Back to the drawing board.
I’ll write more about this later, but I’m getting so tired of this. We’ve seen at least 20, if not 30 houses. I knew buying a house wasn’t easy, but I didn’t realize it would be this hard. I thought just finding the perfect one was the hard part. I didn’t realize actually getting them to sell it to you for your asking price or being chosen over someone else was also difficult.
The stress is getting to me. My husband is gone again for three days. Less than two weeks until I start my new job, less than three weeks before I go back to school. I’m freaking out. But I feel like I say this shit at least once a week. I’m on repeat, over and over.
So I’ll shut up now. I’ll update another day, when I’m not feeling so bitchy and whoremonal. Cripes.
So I know my last post was very abrupt and very pissy. Since then, I’ve had some discussions with J and have had time to try and compartmentalize every insane thing going in our lives, and I’m trying to tackle them item by item. So first, the good news.
After being gone for a total of 14 days, my husband returns home tonight. Continue reading
I’m not sleeping.
I’m stressed out at work as I have less than three weeks before I transfer to my new permanent full-time position.
The whole house-thing is stuck in limbo until this weekend when J and I will up and out ourselves to look at yet some more candidates.
I’m panicking about the fact that we only have one car, and I start school in less than four weeks.
I’m panicking about my stupid leg, despite the progress I’ve made (it’s never enough, is it?).
So, yeah. I’m tapped. I can’t even type up a real post for y’all. And writing yesterday’s post about Robin Williams really sapped me of a lot of energy, too. Emotional posts can do that to you.
So, here you go. Here’s an absolute shit post in which I just bitch about how tired and stressed I am. I’ve also been without a husband for nearly two weeks, so, that’s not helping matters.
Roll on, Friday. ❤
Fantastic news! I am now allowed to do partial weight-bearing!
And there was much rejoicing.
No, but there really was. It is an amazing feeling to be able to make some progress. The only thing is, it’s scary as hell. I am only allowed to bear about 25% of my body weight (I’ll spare myself the embarrassment on how many pounds that means) so I went home and pressed on a scale with my bad leg until I reached that amount, to try and get an understanding for how much weight that is.
But when I’m walking, it’s hard to tell! And on top of that, my leg is so weak. I honestly underestimated how much strength a person can lose in 6 weeks. And I’m so nervous that I’m going to put too much weight on it. And then I’m nervous I’m not putting enough. And then my leg was sore yesterday in the knee area, probably because it’s all like, “Hey, what are you doing? I’ve been chilling for almost two months. Why are you doing this to me?”
But that’s life. Hardly anything is ever really “easy.”
But anyway…so that’s happening. I see my orthopedist in two weeks and we will see how far I’ve progressed since then. I told him I want to go back to school in September, so he is going to get me into physical therapy so I can get back on my feet sooner rather than later. Progress, progress, progress, baby.
The house thing is kind of stuck right now. I need this weekend off. Since we got back from vacation, we have looked at houses for at least four hours straight at least once per weekend. I need a damn break. J can’t really take a day off because he’ll have to make it up, so technically his AT ends after 5:00 on the 14th. The plan is for him to come home that night, spend Friday and Saturday with me to look at houses, and then he will return Sunday to make up four days (I thought it was three, I was wrong, damnit). At least that’s if his commander approves the days. They have to make sure he has something to do.
So, this weekend, I am relaxing. I am hoping my good friend comes to visit. Although since she’s been home, she’s been spotty with texting me back and won’t decide on a day, so I have this overly paranoid fear that she’s avoiding me (because of the fact that I hardly talk to anyone from “the group” we both used to be a part of? I don’t know). But whatever. My best friend is coming over tomorrow and we are going to the movies or something. We will probably get Panera, again, because their macaroni and cheese is AMAZEBALLS. I’ll catch up on some TV, and sleep, and…relax.
And partially bear weight on my bad leg. It actually hurts less today than yesterday (which is when I started writing this post). Score.
Wow. This post is all over the damn place. I’m going to go now. Because I’m at work. And should probably be working.