Where I am: 12w7d
Medications: just the basics!
Symptoms: still tired, still sore boobs, still a little bit of nausea, still slow digestion, still food/smell hypersensitivity and aversions, still congestion, still constipation, and *new* round ligament pain!
Sorry I haven’t checked in for a while! I assure you, Bug is fine. As far as I know (Friday’s OB MD appointment will reassure me of that).
Also, unless she’s lying to my face, brother’s girlfriend isn’t pregnant. PHEW!
So let me update you on a few things…
My anxiety was so bad leading up to this appointment. I felt sick to my stomach, I simultaneously felt like I wasn’t going to be able to get out of the chair when my name was called and like I was going to run from the waiting room screaming and crying any minute. When my name was called, J thankfully pulled me by my hand and, for the first time this pregnancy, we walked down the “other” hallway (you know, the one that doesn’t lead to the ultrasound room with IVF and fertility posters on the wall) to a different room with the flat-screen TV for our viewing on the wall.
I had a full bladder, as no one had told me otherwise. I’m in the regular OB pool now, so I’m swimming with a different breed of people now. The technician had me lay down and scoot down my pants for the towel and gel without much ado, meanwhile my hands (and legs, and everything) are shaking like crazy. On goes the machine, down onto my belly goes the probe. First thing I see: a significantly more person-like creature. Then: a significantly active person-like creature! This made the last thing less crucial: finally, the heart beating (rate was 163bpm). My bladder was too full and limiting visibility, so I left to empty it and returned.
The appointment lasted twenty minutes. I was in complete awe. J kept looking at me and kissing my hand, probably because he loved me so damn much in that moment, but I kept yelling at him to watch the damn screen because our baby was up there! Bug was flipping about, gliding around in that watery world of his or hers, switching positions at least four times while we watched. Legs, arms all over the place. We could make out the nose and chin lines easily. At one point, we believe Bug sucked his or her thumb, as the hand was very close to the mouth for an extended period of time. S/he was not in the least bit cooperative at first, moving way too much for the tech to get anything good. And then (“be careful what you ask for,” the tech later said!) Bug decided it was naptime and cozied up to the bottom of the placenta. Too close to the placenta. So the tech bounced the probe up and down on my belly, had me lay on my side, as we tried to get Bug to stop using the placental wall as a hammock so she could get a good look. She took her measurements, printed a few pics, and off we went.
I was flying on Cloud 9 after this appointment. Nervousness settled back in right around a day or so before the CNM appointment, but I was feeling good. And J was so happy, and has been really excited (more so than usual). I think it did him a lot of good, seeing Bug alive and well after nearly four weeks of not being able to check in. 🙂
Courtesy Heartbeat Appointment w/CNM
Later that week, on Friday, we went in to see the CNM to hear the heartbeat, which J had yet to hear on his own. Bug was certainly still active, as she kept losing it every now and again, but both J and I heard it loud and clear several times (and I recorded it!) at 160bpm. The CNM didn’t say anything about making another appointment to come in and listen, though I will get a listen at this week’s OB MD appointment on Friday. I haven’t decided yet if I’ll request another appointment to come in and listen between now and October 20th (anatomy scan)…
The CNM also said the preliminary results from my NT scan and bloodwork look good. They will do another blood panel after 14-16w, and will know more then, but for now, all looks well. The actual NT was low, and I assume my free beta-hCG and PAPP-A must have been more or less appropriate. Yay!
Telling More People
With a good NT scan on Monday, and a good listen in on the heartbeat Friday, J and I decided to widen the knowledge, so to speak. On Tuesday, actually, my MIL’s husband was in a motorcycle accident (he’s okay, fracture in his hip and had surgery to put permanent pins in) and I offered to go with my older SIL to visit him and my MIL in the hospital. I asked J if I could tell her (not too big a deal, as we announced our second pregnancy and previous miscarriage shortly after our last good ultrasound, so she knew the background and that we were trying), and he said sure. She’s very happy. Started shooting off advice. Told me her terrifying birth story (long labor, dangerously low BP, emergency C-section). Blah blah blah.
After Friday’s appointment, we decided to tell the rest of his siblings. We called his younger sister in NY and told her. J had told her about everything earlier this year, so…again, she knew. She was overly ecstatic for us. Moved to tears at a few points. We then called J’s SIL (brother’s wife) in AZ and told her. She offered for us to call J’s brother ourselves and gave us his work phone number. We called him too, and he was excited! More so than I expected, as he’s a pretty level-emotions kind of guy. It takes a lot to make him smile or laugh. These two are the exception to the “our bumpy past,” mostly because it would be too hard to explain over the phone. We will probably tell them when they come visit next summer.
Finally, we went to the condo my brother and his girlfriend share and told them the news. It took me forever. We moved from the kitchen as they were cooking, into the living room, and during every lull in conversation, my husband glared at me and put his hand up. I just couldn’t get it out. Finally, the topic of holidays came up, and I blurted out, “What are you guys doing March 11th?” It took maybe 30 seconds for them to rattle through possibilities (birthdays, St Patty’s Day, etc) before she finally said, “Is that when you’re having a baby?” I said nothing and raised my eyebrows and kind of smiled, and she screamed. And hugged me. And screamed some more. We shared the last near-two years of struggles, and she told me she was probably going to cry tonight over how many times she asked if I was pregnant when we were going through all of this secretly. I told her that it was okay. She didn’t know. And that’s the truth. And I hope she learns something from it?
There are four people left we really should tell sooner rather than later: J’s parents, and their respective spouses. I’d rather do it in person than on the phone, though, so we are going to work out time this or next weekend to take care of that. Where we go from here, I’m unsure. Telling so many people last week was invigorating while it was happening…but exhausting and, quite honestly, anxiety-inducing after the fact. We’re taking a breather after we tell his parents and figuring everything out from there.
Other Significant Things to Know
Just a few more things to add!
- I reach 13w tomorrow. Second trimester, how are you?!
- A good friend of mine on Twitter is sending me her at-home Doppler in the mail because she doedsn’t really need it anymore, and I am so very grateful! Her only rules are that I don’t use it obsessively, and that I pass it along to someone else who needs it when the time is right for me. Two rules I plan to abide! This may keep me from going into the doctor’s office every two weeks. I’m going to be strict about use, though. J will have custody of it so I don’t use it when I’m not supposed to, and I am debating use at either once every 5 days or once every week.
- I stopped baby aspirin as of Saturday night, and did my last doses of Crinone on Monday (this I could’ve stopped on Saturday, as well, but I had four more to use, so why not?). Big steps, my friends. Big steps.
- Yesterday was my first day sans Crinone. I have noticed a significant decrease in nausea ever since. I wouldn’t say it’s completely gone, but near enough to be noticeable. I keep telling myself: second trimester, and the placenta has taken over the hormones. You’re supposed to feel better. Breathe. Luckily, I still have every other symptom in the book, including exhaustion. Oh, and I can’t sleep for shit anymore. Nice.
- I also have round ligament pain! For those who want to know, it feels like a pulled muscle. Or a cramp. It’s a lot different than I expected. Somehow, I anticipated more cramping…not pain so sharp and so acute. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad I’m having progressing and appropriate symptoms, but it just hurts!
- I took my first, ever, in three pregnancies, bump photo. Last week. I’m debating whether or not I’ll post them on here…
And that’s about it! I’ll check in after my OB MD appointment Friday. I’ve never gotten to the point of meeting the actual OB doctor before, so this will be new and hopefully exciting. I’ll also enjoy listening to Bug’s heartbeat again to reassure me that I really have made it to the second trimester, intact.