August 14th, 2014: Documented As the Farthest I’ve Ever Been

Where I am: 10w1d
Medications: Crinone
Symptoms: tired, sore boobs, nausea, slow digestion, food/smell hypersensitivity and aversions, congestion, constipation


Oh…my…goodness.

Lucky Bug is totally hanging in there. Measuring between 10w1d and 10w2d, with a strong heartbeat of 178.

Today makes it official: this pregnancy, my third, is the farthest I have ever been.

Holy shitballs.

The day started off rough. I woke up early to a text from my dad saying my mom was not going to work today. Not giving me a ride to and from work. Not giving me a ride to and from my appointment. So I called him still half-asleep and told him I might as well not bother going in until after the appointment since it would be a waste of time for him. He told me he would drive me today, wherever I needed to go.

So I got up, and since I was up, I took a shower. I mosied around getting dressed. Put on my “Lucky Bug” jewelry for good luck, and tucked the little mascot in my pocket. I had a glass of orange juice and an ice cream sandwich (don’t judge). I then began to chug water because, at 10w, the chances of her doing an abdominal were higher than not. My father came to get me and off we went.

I cycled between going numb and panicking. They took us late, which is unusual. I spent the better part of fifteen minutes in the waiting room, feet and hands shaking, anxiously keeping my Twitter friends updated on the status of my insanity. The same tech as always, Fran, took us in. I had a full bladder, and she intended to do an abdominal first, but she wanted my bladder empty just in case. I told her how nervous I was, and she knew to check immediately to make sure LB was okay in there. It took maybe three seconds from the moment she turned on the monitor before she said “It’s okay. It’s okay.” And I let out a deep breath as she checked my ovaries and conducted her measurements.

My dad was in the chair beside me, and I could hear him laughing and when Fran asked if he saw this, and saw that, he would say yes, and I could hear the emotion in his voice. I couldn’t look. I knew he was crying. I knew if I looked, I’d cry more. My eyes were glued to the screen anyway while I watched little LB wriggle around.

The baby was active. Pumping his or her little fists and legs all over the place. I asked Fran if I could take some quick video for J, because he was away, and she said even though it was against the rules…she would allow it just this once. I love her.

Once she had taken all her measurements and confirmed LB was measuring right on time, and the heartbeat was strong as ever, she told me to video quick as she got a perfect view and the baby was moving. I turned on my iPhone camera and almost instantly, like the baby knew, s/he started waving. Once again, I was crying. Silently…not sobbing. Little tears. But tears nonetheless. I got about 30secs of good movement and waving and then turned it off, telling Fran I was good, just grateful for the chance to video at all.

I didn’t need a transvaginal…she got everything she needed from the outside. She congratulated me, and then almost impulsively hugged me tight, and told me everything was looking really good. And then I was done!

I waited another 20mins to see the RE, for all of maybe three minutes. He went over what I had discussed with the endocrinologist (forgot to tell you guys about that, more on it later) and told me that not only does everything look great, but since I’ve passed the point of my last miscarriage, the chances of this pregnancy proceeding look better than ever. He shook my hand, wished me luck, and told me he looks forward to seeing me around the office sporting a nice healthy bump in the coming months.

While we waited, I texted J and sent him the video. He didn’t respond for a while (probably busy), but when he did, he just couldn’t stop saying he loved me. I asked if he watched the video, if he was happy, if he saw the baby waving for him, and he just said yes and so happy and he loved me so much. I can’t wait to talk to him tonight. I’m so glad he was at least able to see what I saw today.

So, my dearest friends, my companions, my supporters, that’s that. I am 10w today. I am 1/4th of the way through this pregnancy. My chances get better every day. LB is hanging on, s/he is certainly a fighter. I am in awe. I am so in love. I am still so terrified, and I’m sure the anxiety will continue to rise exponentially before every appointment…but for now, I’m blissfully happy. I wish I could feel this way all the time.

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25 thoughts on “August 14th, 2014: Documented As the Farthest I’ve Ever Been

  1. Pingback: ——————– | When Dreams Become Rainbows

    • Aww I’m sorry I made you cry!!! 🙂 I am happy, too… Thank you!!

      I don’t really go on Facebook that much…I’ve withdrawn from that social media within the last six months as I started treatment for my miscarriages/infertility issues. I do have an Instagram! I emailed it to you!! And my twitter is dreams_rainbows. Follow meeeee! 🙂 ❤

  2. So happy for you! I totally get the amount of anxiety you must have felt going into your appointment and couldn’t be happier that all looks good and your little one was bumping and shaking and saying hi. Yay yay yay!

    • Oh yeah, massive anxiety! I don’t think it will stop for a while…but I’m trying to be calmer every time. It’s not worked so far, but I’m trying. 😉

      Oh LB was certainly getting a groove on! It was honestly so effin’ cute! ❤

      • He or she sure is! I know I keep saying this, but I have such a good feeling about Little Bug. I love the mental image of LB doing a little dance for you. So cute! happy your hubby will be home soon too so you can celebrate together. Today is a great day!

      • You do keep saying that, but I don’t mind in the LEAST. It reassures me. My husband told me on the phone just now “see, I told you it would be okay.” And I asked how he knew that and he said, “I just do. That little Bug is the one.” And part of me hates that kind of talk because I feel like everyone says that sometimes…but he really feels this is it. And I love that you do, too. Between the both of you, there’s plenty of hope to make up for the little bit I’m afraid to give, for fear of not protecting myself enough.

        And yes the video is awesome!!! I want to somehow post it on here in the near future so everyone can see! 🙂 ❤

  3. Pingback: Getting Back to Normal? | When Dreams Become Rainbows

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