Progress, Pain, and Life

Life’s rough right now, my friends. Life…is rough.

This is going to be a LONG post as I catch y’all up, so bear with me.

Back to Work

Returning to work last Thursday after being gone nearly three weeks was bumpy. It was like my brain was rusty and the gears weren’t quite working full-speed yet. It wasn’t a total and complete disaster without me, but it’s safe to say my boss was struggling. He of course made sure I was okay, but sees me up and moving around on crutches and probably assumes I’m doing quite well physically. He doesn’t even know half of it! Ugh!

And to make things even better, he’s here 1 day this week, 2 days next week, and 0 days the last week of the month. Payback much?

I brought the wheelchair my family lent me from when my grandfather was sick to my work, so that at least there I can wheel around. It doesn’t fit through the doorways in my apartment, anyway.

Can’t Make Progress Without a Little Pain

Let’s talk about my leg for a minute. Last I left you, I was freaking about a possible blood clot. Turns out the doctor was concerned as well, so I was whisked away by the hubby promptly after calling to have an urgent ultrasound done…30 minutes away. The test was negative, though. No blood clots…the technician said I actually had beautiful veins. It was a strange thing to hear blood rushing through my legs via the ultrasound machine audio rather than anything baby-related. Just a thought.

With that said, however, the on-call orthopedist (and my own doctor, later, yesterday confirmed this) deduced that it must be muscle strain or spasms. Awesome. And with my “medical condition,” there’s nothing I can really do medicinally to alleviate the pain. Heating pads, massage, stretching. That’s it.

Wonderful.

Monday, I saw my orthopedist and he fitted me with a new brace. This one is lighter, more complicated, and very Terminator-like. There are dials on the side that he preset so that I can bend my knee (I can lock it while mobile). This is both a good and bad thing. The good is I can finally get some flexibility in my leg. The bad is my muscles are screaming bloody murder in there. The brace provides a hefty amount of resistance…on purpose…so my leg gets a workout every time I bend it. This is again good because I’m technically getting a headstart on the physical therapy I will eventually need. It might even make the physical therapy shorter, and less painful. Yet this is again bad because my muscles are working overtime after being very latent for a little over two weeks. Blarg.

I like my new brace, though. It is lighter. I wear the immobilizer to bed, still, because the dials on this one are clunky and my knee tends to hurt a lot more when I’m trying to sleep. But this one is awesome for during the day. Right now, I’m sitting in my cube with my leg bent! It’s lovely! (Muscle pain and all! I swear!) I have also been given some strengthening exercises to do at home: one is simply to tighten my thigh muscle when I’m sitting, and the other is to do a leg lift with the bad leg when lying straight down. I haven’t tried them out yet…but I will start before the week is over. I’m just trying to give my muscles a break.

One last note about the leg: because he doesn’t feel comfortable X-raying me right now (because of my “medical condition”), he is forcing me to go another 3 weeks with no weight-bearing. At my follow-up in that amount of time, the “medical condition” risk will be lower and I will get the X-ray then. Hopefully the fracture will be healing up nicely and I will be able to switch to partial weight-bearing by the beginning of August.

Regaining Traction with House-Hunting

My poor realtor. She’s just beside herself. 😦 J and I need to call our mortgage people (USAA) to discuss our current financial situation. While we’ve only had to dig into our savings once to pay this month’s rent, and should bounce back fast enough in the coming weeks to pay our bills for the rest of this month and next month’s rent, we still both went basically three weeks without pay. We also have the settlement for our car coming in a few weeks (a little over $4k) and the issue of only having one car (not an issue now, because I can’t drive, but it will once I can). The large deposits of money are going to freak our mortgage banker out, as any homeowner or to-be-homeowner understands.

This all makes me nervous. We haven’t exactly been pre-approved yet, only pre-qualified, which means zilch in the housing market world. I’m terrified we will find the house we want and be denied because of all of this car accident bullshit.

Our landlady came and inspected our apartment last week and evidently threw a shitfit about the boxes of stuff everywhere. She says it’s a fire hazard and we need to get rid of them or move them to a separate location. Is she for real? Clearly we are trying to move. We need to box our shit up. Stop being a bitch. I’m so angry. I was hoping to go down there and try to negotiate a three-month extension of the lease while we try to play catch-up and deal with the accident aftermath, but honestly this lady has zero sympathy. She’s a cold-hearted witch. Always has been. I hate her.

So our living situation for the remainder of 2014, specifically once September 11th rolls around, remains undecided. Hello, anxiety, how are you? We’re going to be best friends.

Paperwork is the Devil!

We came home to even more paperwork regarding the car accident. I’ve already filled out police reports and handed them to the police station that responded to the scene, the RMV Crash Records department or whatever, and my car insurance. I got paperwork from the other party’s insurer, and they want a copy too! I don’t have one! So I emailed their generic claims contact and asked the scans be forwarded to the particular representative. I haven’t heard yet but I’m paranoid about talking to the other party’s insurance, so I may just request that my insurance contact them and pass along any information they need.

We also had to sign the power-of-attorney paperwork over to our insurance company for our car, which was totaled in the accident. As of this morning, it is in the mail. The sooner they get that, the sooner they can pay off the auto lienholder, and the sooner we’ll get our settlement.

Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho, It’s Off to School I Go?

I start my second year of graduate school in September. Thinking about this terrifies me, and makes me feel sick to my stomach. First of all, I don’t know if I’ll be off the crutches by then! Second of all, I don’t know if we will have a car by then! And what if we have just bought a house and are moving and redecorating and painting or whatever? FUCK.

As it is, if everything goes well in a certain other unmentionable part of my life right now, I’ll be taking next semester off. I have to, I have no choice. Which is going to set me back to a December 2015 graduation. I can’t even think of considering putting off an entire year. Especially when everything is so in limbo. It’s always in limbo. Always. That’s why I applied to graduate school in the first place. I said, “Fuck you life!” and went for it. I can’t take this semester off with the idea that I might need to take next semester off as well.

So I am just left with more anxiety. More uncertainty.

So… ?

So, what? Life is life. No one ever said it would be easy. Growing up is tough shit. Living situations and bills and insurance and school and mortgages and rent and big life decisions are all a part of being an adult. I’m complaining here because it makes me feel better to write it out…but I know it won’t help. I just have to suck it up and get over it.

We do our best, every day. That’s all we can do. ❤

2 thoughts on “Progress, Pain, and Life

  1. Holy cow hon! That is a lot to deal with! You really don’t need any stress right now! Let alone all of this! I hope your settlement goes through quickly so you can get another car soon and not have so many financial worries. As for the living situation – yikes! Your landlady sounds like such a bitch! Sending you lots of positive thoughts and prayers it all falls into place and you find a place before your lease runs up. As for your password protected posts, I have not seen any, but will check out your link now 🙂 I completely understand why you want to keep them password protected, but I know for me, before I was pregnant, I was okay with seeing pregnancy updates from our fellow IF/RPL bloggers. If I was having a particularly hard day, I would just ignore them. I know that’s not the case for everyone though, so I think you’re so considerate for putting a password on them. I feel like I should too, but I’m so lazy these days, and I don’t think my family and friends who follow my blog will ever see a post any more if I do that. Anyway, hang in there hon. Praying for you and baby ❤

  2. You guys sure do have more than your fair share of stress right now. I think you should talk to your landlady. Even if she is a nut, keeping you guys there for an extra three months is in her best interest, anyway. It’s steady rent coming in, when she could otherwise have a vacancy on her hands. It would take so much pressure off of you guys if you didn’t have this hard deadline looming.

    As for the password posts, the only way I know about them is when you tell us in an unprotected post. I kind of like that way of dealing with it.

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