The Hits Keep Coming

Where I am: CD15 (3dpo)
Medications: Crinone (and Lovenox, and Oxycodone…keep reading for explanation)
Symptoms: couldn’t tell you

So…this weekend sucked.

Friday, as you know, I was feeling really crappy. I attribute this to ovulating, because I woke up Saturday feeling much better. Note to future self: intense ovarian pain probably means you’re ovulating. Good but necessary pain.

Saturday…well, it started out like this: we met our realtor at a house at 10:00AM. With five to see, it was a big morning. I had to be done by 2:00 as I had a concert to attend with my cousin that afternoon (our first concert ever).

We saw the first house—and we loved it! It is our #1 contender out of the three we’ve seen (why only three?…keep reading). The second…not so great. It’s off the list completely.

11:00AM, I’m driving my husband’s crossover to the other side of town on our way to the third house. We’re talking, laughing, saying we already might not want this house because it’s close to a bad town, we come up on a set of lights in front of a Wal*Mart, I’m in the right lane, the left lane is stopped as the car at the stop line is waiting for a left…

…and just as I am about to pass the first car in the left lane and cross the intersection, a car coming the opposite direction tries to take a left. Right in front of me. I slam on the breaks and swerve, but it’s too late.

Head-on collision. Airbags deploy. I black out for a second. Wake up to J looking like he’s in severe pain, I’m suffocating on the residue from the airbags and screaming at the top of my lungs. Cue the hysteria. Off-duty firefighter hears the crash down the street and comes to our aid. Checks out J, I tell him I’m fine. 911 is called, our realtor (who was two cars behind us) comes up out of nowhere. Offers me water and hugs me as I am hyperventilating. Crying. Terrified. Traumatized.

Ambulance takes us to the hospital. Five hours later, we are discharged: J has abdominal contusions but a CT scan clears him of internal bleeding. I don’t get off as lucky. In addition to serious contusions to my abdomen (are you fucking serious?) and thighs, I have a fracture in my knee. I’m in an immobilizer indefinitely. No surgery needed, thank God. Eventually physical therapy. I see an orthopedist on Friday. I can’t drive because it’s my right knee (and I’m on Oxy, too). So I’m out of work for the week. I can’t do anything on my own, including use the bathroom, so J is going to call his HR office tomorrow and see if he can go off work on FMLA so he can take care of me.

We are supposed to leave for DC on Sunday. How the fuck am I going to enjoy my vacation now?

I’m in the two week wait already. Wondering what the contusions did, wondering what the painkillers are doing. I’m also on Lovenox daily because the placement of the fracture and my fertility treatments put me at high risk for blood clots. I know that won’t hurt pregnancy as women actually take the stuff during fertility treatments. It’s just everything else.

I’ve barely slept. My knee is constantly in pain and when it’s not, I have nightmares. The Oxy makes me drowsy but I only end up half-sleeping, in which I can hear everything going on and still feel pseudo-awake.

I’m angry. Why can’t we catch a fucking break? I’m depressed. Needing to have my husband help me pull my fucking underwear down just so I can pee is degrading. It took me forever to take a shower today. He is doing everything for me. I don’t know where I got such an amazing man as my husband, but he’s in serious pain himself but he’s doing everything for me. We both woke up sore and bruised this morning, which everyone told us to expect.

This entry is so jumbled, but I am literally so mentally and emotionally and physically exhausted. I just wanted to update this so you all could know what happened.

Keep us in your thoughts and, if you’re the type and don’t have anything against doing it for a nonbeliever, prayers. Or send good vibes and juju and luck. After having so much hope and good feeling for this cycle, I am nervous this accident will screw it all up somehow. Be it the contusions, the Oxy, the stress, anything. I feel like our good feelings just went right out the window.

I’ll update again soon, something more coherent and hopefully not clouded by narcotics. I’m still trying to keep the faith, so even though I’m nervous it’s all gone to shit, I’ll sign off with the hashtag…

#teamjunebug (please please please)

22 thoughts on “The Hits Keep Coming

  1. Holy shitballs. Not much to add that I haven’t already said on twitter, but holy shitballs. Thinking of you and hoping this bump in the road is all it will be — a bump in the road on your road to a bump xo

  2. Oh my goodness! I am so very sorry to hear about the accident and your injuries and your husband’s injuries! Many gentle hugs and positive thoughts coming your way! I hope that the pain decreases quickly and that everything on the baby front is okay. ❤ I'm glad you have a good husband who is taking good care of you. I know how demoralizing it can feel to not be able to use the bathroom or shower by yourself. Hang in there.

    • Thank you so much. I am feeling better today…I think yesterday it just was a cruel realization of just how difficult the road to recovery was going to be. It’s amazing how you can be told “you have a fracture” and think it won’t change your life much when in reality it changes everything. 😦 ❤

  3. I am so sorry to hear about the collision! I am glad you are both going to be okay, but totally sucks that you are in pain and looking at a long recovery for your knee. And while it totally sucks, I suspect its better to be on the drugs now at the beginning of the TWW then when you are pregnant. So, maybe this perspective can be the glass-half full perspective (although I totally wouldn’t blame you if you cannot see it that way right now)?
    Sending you all my good vibes and wishing you a speedy recovery!

    • Thanks!!! I called my RE’s office and asked about the painkillers and they said it shouldn’t interfere with anything…and also that my health is most important. I’m hoping they weren’t just “saying that” to make me not worry but I’m going to take their word for it anyway!

  4. Good effing Lord! What a terrible situation on such a beautiful weekend (and it sounds like you were on a roll looking at houses)! So sorry to hear it and, of course, lots of good vibes headed at ya. #teamjunebug all the way!

  5. SO scary! I’ve been in a bad car accident, so I hear you on the nightmares and just feeling awful for a while afterwards. It will get better day by day, this part is the worst (or was for me). Also, I know how shitty the timing is, but women do get pregnant through all kinds of trauma, street drug use, etc – if it was going to happen this month, it still will – you’re not out yet, so don’t add that to your list of worries. I’m so sorry this happened, feel better soon, thinking of you.

  6. This is freakin awful! I honestly couldn’t believe what I was reading. I’m so glad you’re ok. And I can literally feel how bad you want your baby this month. You just had a horrific, traumatizing, life threatening event and your first thought is about your baby. You are already a mother.

  7. Oh hon! How frightening! I’m so relieved you and your hubby are okay, albeit sore and bruised! Praying you heal quickly and that that it doesn’t impact this cycle. At least you’re at the beginning of your 2WW. Just think of all those women out there who drink and do far, far worse in the 2WW when they have no idea they could be pregnant. I am saying so many prayers for you. So many. Warm but gentle hug hon.

  8. Oh gosh! So sorry that you went through this! It must have been so so scary. I really hope you have a speedy recovery. You’ve been through enough! Hugs to you ❤

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