Where I am: CD28
Symptoms: still moody, still pimply, still PMSy!
Well, it is CD28 and I am still waiting for AF.
I know a lot of you have waited longer. I know that this is nothing. But it’s been 18 very long days since I found out this cycle was cancelled and I am just so ready for the next cycle to begin.
Even if it will be cancelled, I want it to begin so I can move on.
And it could be cancelled, if it takes me another week! Our vacation is at the end of this month. I don’t mind sticking myself with a needle, or having sex (haha, like I would mind), or even waiting out the 2ww on my vacation. These are all things I could do.
But I need to be monitored before I can trigger. Which means I need to at least reach CD10 a week or so before we leave. Just in case I need a few more days before trigger.
Anyway, we saw our first house yesterday evening. It was crazy. Walking into someone else’s house and wondering what it would be like to live there. Seeing the four bedrooms upstairs and wondering what a crib and changing table would look like in the smallest one…
…it was only the first house. We are in NYC next weekend, our realtor will be in CA, so we won’t see another house for almost another two weeks. But at least, our feet are wet. We’ve seen one.
I’ve been packing. Well, earlier this year I packed up our whole “bar” consisting of all the hard alcohol we owned. Because I was so hoping I wouldn’t need it before we moved. J and I have started packing up our box sets and movies and video games. And I started packing up the barware last week.
Packing gives me a feeling of reality and control. I’m so happy with my new job and our soon-to-be new home. But these are things I can somewhat control, whereas a lot of what goes into TTC is out of my hands.
Anyway…hubby is at drill this weekend so I am on my own. I slept in, I’ve been packing, I’ve been watching more of Private Practice (almost done with the second-to-last season as we speak!), been drinking some beer I bought last night!
Something else I thought of today, as I stepped on the scale, is that I fell off the Weight Watchers wagon. Seriously. I keep saying I’m going to get back on and never do. Well I stepped on the scale and I’m rebounding, hard. It made me sad. Really sad.
More than anything, I want to be healthy. For myself and for my future baby (babies). Second to that, I want to be comfortable in my own skin again. I want to be the skinny hottie my husband first fell in love with. And since I started Weight Watchers a month before my second BFP, it’s been up and down. I did well, then I was pregnant, I gained no weight, then I miscarried, then I gained, then I lost a little, then I plateaued, then I started losing again, and I reached 22lbs total loss, and now I’m starting to bounce back up.
Trying to lose weight or be healthy or whatever while TTC is so hard. It’s a constant yo-yo, back and forth. At least for me. During the tough times, I fall off the wagon. And the tough times are always around the corner.
But, tomorrow, it starts again. Tracking with my Weight Watchers calculator. Exercising daily.