To Test Trigger, or Not To Test Trigger…

Where I am: CD5
Medication: Clomid, Day 2 of 5
Symptoms: nauseous, dizzy, tired

…that is the question.

Something possessed me on the way home from class the other night. There’s a 24-hour Walgreens right at the base of the hill that leads to my apartment complex, and as I was driving home I just found myself pulling into the parking lot! Walking in the store! Down the aisle for family planning…

…walked out about five minutes later with nearly $80 worth a shameful amount of HPTs.

*insert sad, downward-looking face here*

You should have seen the look on my husband’s face. And then the look of desperation that must have been on my face as I tried to rationalize testing during the 2ww because it means I’ll know when the HCG leaves my system and then in the future I won’t have to test the whole time I’ll just know when it should be out of my system and for God’s sake I just have too much going on and I need to know what’s going on in there, damnit!

So then he took pity on me and agreed. (And then probably plotted a time and place to retreat to in the near future, since I wasn’t even on the Clomid at that point and he was probably thinking “RUN.”)

I’m not sure I can actually give a good, rational reason for wanting to test the trigger. But do I have to?

I have been going back and forth about testing versus not testing for about a week now…

* being able to possibly watch a pregnancy as it is forming
* knowing sooner than later if you’re not pregnant
* having that little bit of knowledge every day, instead of being in the dark

* realizing a chemical pregnancy when you otherwise might not
* overthinking every “could-be” second line
* false positives giving false hope

To me, for this first cycle anyway, the pros far outweigh the cons. I fully understand there is a very real possibility that I could have a chemical pregnancy and—as a result of testing—know that I have it…whereas I might not know if I didn’t test. But I feel like there’s still a strong possibility of the beta bloodwork revealing a chemical pregnancy anyway.

I don’t know. With a year of TTC and two missed miscarriages behind me, I have yet to really, truly, be “TTC crazy.” Like I said before, I’ve never charted or temped or OPK’d. I think I can allow myself this one time to be a little loony. Regardless…I held onto the receipt. I think it’ll come right down to the night of the trigger, whether I’ll want to test the next morning or not. Who knows, maybe I won’t. Maybe I’ll be overcome with a sense of calm and not want to test.

Well…okay, probably not. But maybe I won’t test daily at first…and will only test every other day. I don’t know. I can’t decide.

Anyway, these are my thoughts. Patiently awaiting the end of the Clomid, and CD10 for my first follicular ultrasound on Wednesday!

7 thoughts on “To Test Trigger, or Not To Test Trigger…

  1. What a dilemma!! I have somehow resisted to do that during all my 14 TWW period so far… it just gave me so much anxiety because after every test, the 24 hour countdown started all over in my head until the next one… I have hypothyroidism too but if yours is under control it should be ok…Im really sorry about your miscarriage.. but take something positive from this, at least you know you can get prego!! Baby dust to you! 🙂

    • Ughhhhh, I know!!! I’m probably going to give myself anxiety over it…blah. I am really really hoping I can keep it under control. 😦

      My hypothyroidism is relatively under control. I didn’t take my meds when I was supposed to when I was first diagnosed so it got pretty out of control by the time they checked it in late 2012. (I am a stupid person.) It’s been considered “normal” for over a year now, but it has really been tough to get it at an appropriate level for pregnancy specifically. They want it in a very small range of numbers and I keep fluctuating to too high above or too low below that specific number. GRRRR! I have read though that an overactive pituitary gland (or pituitary tumor) can result in hypothyroid, and I was diagnosed with hyperprolactinemia this month, so perhaps the combo of both medicines will start to work. It does worry me, though…

      Anyway, wow rambling! 😀 Thank you for the baby dust, and right back at you! ❤

      • Hey friend! Whats your TSH level goal? My doc says below 2.4 is good… when I started on clomid mine exploded to 8.1 and they upped my dose… I think its close to 2.4 now, need to get tested soon.

        And no, youre not a stupid person! When my doctor said my TSH was 8.1 I somehow concluded that the best thing I could do was to stop taking my med altogether.. WTF was I thinking? Obviously I was brainfarting more frequently than normal…

        I wonder why your levels fluctuate so much… are you aware that there are some foods that we shouldn’t eat? Also, do you not eat for at least 1 hour after you take your med?

      • Hello, sorry for the late response. 🙂

        I guess the normal level for non-pregnant women is like .2-4.1 or something, but you have to have it in a more finite range for pregnancy. A level of 2.4 sounds right…mine was really low at .19 in November when I was about 2mos pregnant, which was too too low. So they dialed back the levothyroxine and then it spiked back up to 3.08 so now they have me on this ridiculous med schedule (50mcg M,T,Th,F and 75mcg Su, W, and Sa). Hopefully it will eventually level out…I think I am getting my thyroid and pituitary tested in like a week or two so we will see.

        Yeah I didn’t listen to my doctor when she told me in 2008 at a level of 6.22 that I’d have to be on this med for the rest of my life. I didn’t take it for like two years and my level came back at like 40.3 when they tested again in 2011. NOT GOOD. Shame on me…

        Yeah my doc said half an hour to an hour before breakfast and I used to wait half an hour, but I’ve been trying to wait the full hour for the past few months just to make sure. It’s ridiculous…I work and go to school FT so I don’t have a set schedule that I follow daily so trying to take pills at specific times is not easy.

        I know we are not supposed to have…soy, is it? I know almonds and almond milk stimulate the thyroid so I stay away from that. Honestly though I’m not sure of any others…

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